This past week I received the divorce papers from my attorney. Johannes is moving forward with making it official. I wish I could say I had something positive to say about all this but I don't. I'm still very hurt and bitter towards the whole situation and can not wrap my head around his words and actions. He has gone out of his way to hurt me and push me away from him - this he has done successfully.
I am continuing on with my daily life but doing it alone seems foreign and lonely. I have an amazing support system locally and long distance which I am so thankfully every minute of the day. Without that support things would have gone in a much different direction for me. I wish I could say I was moving forward in the direction of forgiveness but it will be a long time (if at all) that I can get to that point.
I deserve to be with a mature man who will always be faithful to me and will love me continuously. And I deserve to not be treated like disposable trash. Yet I know it'll be a while before my broken heart is mended and ready to make itself vulnerable again. I just hope that when the time comes I can once again give my heart over 100% and to have it handled by someone who respects it.
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